pretty much as soon as i started taking solid steps towards making this a reality, i started being asked what the "name" of this project is. after stumbling over a couple awkward ideas that im grateful i cant share cuz my brain legitimately pushed them out and saved us all, i decided to incorporate "pura vida" which is a popular costa rican phrase that translates to "pure life". i love the phrase and i love the nod to costa rica being built into the name. i have a whole lot to say about it later. but once i decided on using "vida" and while describing out loud my intentions for what this is, what kind of life i want to build for myself, what kind of life i want to share with others, what kind of world i see as a better future, the concept of "balance" kept coming up. so "bal" for "balance". balvida is one manifestation of a pura vida, a balanced life.
it seems to me that everywhere i look, the key to harmony, in one way or another, is balance. when things are in balance, two or more forces interact with each other to keep each other from going too far one way or the other, a constant dance of push-pull to keep each other operating in optimal ranges, simultaneously engaging and moderating each other.
and when things are not balanced? you get a fucked up situation. i think it's safe to say that much of our world currently qualifies as a fucked up situation. and pretty much all of that comes down to a balance not being kept. the world is out of balance, our bodies are out of balance, our homes are out of balance, our work/life is out of balance, our environments are out of balance.
the most glaring of all the imbalances IMO? the root of pretty much all other imbalance? the world is currently designed to favor the masculine way too heavily. when we talk about "toxic masculinity" its often assumed we're talking about a distorted masculinity taken way too far, and it does mean that too.. but i also feel like there's "toxic masculinity" in the fact that even "regular" masculinity has been allowed to take up so much space in our worlds, bodies, environments, homes. in designing the "rules" of our societies and even the physical spaces we occupy, women and their needs and their priorities have constantly taken a backseat to preferencing what men want, and too often what men want is dependent on taking a lot from women and giving very little in return. that imbalance is certainly the root of a lot of suffering from women but i also see it as a model that a lot of other oppressive systems & hierarchies aim to replicate. and if imbalance is key pillar of oppression, that means balance weakens the foundation of oppression.
so i guess in its most pure form, im considering balvida & other women-centered concepts a step in the direction of achieving that balance. in intention, balvida is coming into existence to help restore balance by gathering women and helping restore the space, time and resources needed to let women do their thing, whatever their "thing" may be. im a big big believer in the idea that the way we undo this shit is giving women their power back so ultimately it all goes towards mitigating this massive overgrowth of male influence. and "they" know it too. that's why they're constantly depicting women who do their own thing as witches& bitches, it's why women's spaces and women's interests and women's safety are constantly under attack, it's why we're constantly forced to deal with the man in the room, and it's why i know our best option is finding ways to keep organizing, communing, building with other women. that is what balvida is intended to do.
i also see balvida's goals as being an exercise in balance too. like i mentioned earlier i think the key to fixing and undoing and better-doing a lot of this shit is giving women their power back. so a big part of what im trying to achieve with the intention and design is creating space for women to heal both individually and collectively. communal living, for example, helps achieve this by combining & sharing resources. and by resources i mean the material ones like land and money of course, but just as importantly the intangible ones that are often taken away from women in our highly-individualized, male-centered lifestyles. resources like time & labor. when every woman is required to maintain their own individual household, they get stretched thin a lot quicker financially, emotionally, physically than in situations where there's collaboration and actual help from other competent adults. i dont have time to get into that right now but its suffice to say that a LOT of women are finding themselves in households with other adults who aren't quite competent. adults who aren't exactly helping with the burden of maintaining a home or family or worse, are an additional burden themselves. so a lot of women's energy and time is being sucked into maintaining these individual households for themselves and others and that's time and energy that gets taken away from women existing in their power. a lack of time & energy & resources stops women from having time to develop their own individual strengths and passions. it stops women from having energy to do self-care, real self-care where they can focus on themselves and their own needs. it keeps women from gathering the strength needed to leave bad situations. it prevents women from having the time to even just rest, let alone heal. plus on top of all this, there's the reality that we all just have different strengths and weaknesses. being in community means there's a way higher chance you can focus on the shit you're actually good at and contribute that to the community in exchange for benefitting from other people being good at other shit. the power-up i have in the frequency, consistency and quality of cooking when somebody else is doing the cleaning? it's the equivalent of 10 beautiful functional kitchens for me lmao. something about being freed from the aboslute drudgery of cleaning up after myself really unleashes the chef in me. and the most beautiful part of all? there are ppl out there who love the thrill of cleaning and find the prospect of delicious home-cooked meals an even trade. see how well that works out? isn't goddess good?
balance.
communal living helps give women back some of their resources, namely time and energy to put into shit other than keeping an individual household afloat. it affords women more to just exist and contribute according to their strengths rather than backing everybody into their own corners where they have to do and attempt to balance it all themselves.
and it's not just about individual healing and thriving. something ive noticed over the years of being in and organizing women-only spaces and events is that women get very open and very honest very fast when theres not the man in the room. im not saying every time has been a sister circle of love and internalized misogyny can & does rear its head still, but there is a very noticeable difference in the vibe when it's just women. the performance dials back, the competition gets a little less urgent and the absolute noise of men's presence dies down enough for women to be able to actually hear each other and realize a lot of us are experiencing the same things. the dots get connected a lot faster and the power in women coming to understand the true nature of their interactions with the world around them is undeniably healing. going back to that tweet from my first post that referenced women showing each other the light, each lighting candles for the next woman until eventually we burn all this shit down? yeah. exactly. women coming together and understanding the commonalities in their experiences is necessary and healing as fuck collectively and i fully-believe that creating spaces like that for women is not only life-changing individually but for the world. and honestly? it's just fun. being around other women is fun. shit just hits different when women get a little bit of breathing room surrounding their physical safety and i have many many fond memories of late nights filled with beautiful women twerking in pools, sleepovers, dinners, laughing til we cry, crying til we laugh, talking shit and just having fun. and im def looking forward to creating more memories like that. shaking your ass in a hot tub with your friends 3 nights in a row is actually extremely healing and more women need to experience that. im here to spread that gospel.
and while the intention & goal is very much about creating space for women, i want the concept of balance to go beyond just it's intentions and into the space itself. beyond the name, beyond the conceptual foundation and into the physical foundation. i want balance built into every aspect of this project. i want the design to be a balance between beauty and function. thats important as fuck to me that it be both good to look at and good to exist in. ive had experiences with spaces that lean too heavy to one side or the other and it just really makes me appreciate the times when the balance between the two is struck. its so frustrating trying to cook in a beautiful kitchen that you can't actually cook in bc theres soft ass marble countertops that take on every knife nick and curry stain. but at the same time, ive experienced the boost of being in a space that just looked and felt so good that you were able to really lock into whatever it was you were (or were not) doing. the meals ive made when i start in a pristine kitchen with a nice view, the exact right shade of olive on the walls and a glass of riesling? i simply cannot deny the woo woo power of a satisfied nervous system (and a glass of riesling). who wants to serve a plate of unintentional slop over freshly-oiled butcher block counters? certainly not me. so i know that's important too and im definitely looking to achieve that balance with these spaces. and im looking forward to playing with elements like light & dark, straight lines & curves, interior & exterior, and a bunch of other shit in the design here. i want the physical reality of balvida to visually-represent balance as well so that's something that's heavy on my mind as i've started working with the architect & creative director on designing the actual buildings and shit. right now all i have are my shitty photoshop sketches but theyve officially been handed off the the professionals to be turned into real drawings so in the next post or 2 ill start sharing about the design process.
there's so many things and concepts i wanna strike a balance with in balvida. like even as im writing this 10 more examples or ways i intend to integrate the concept came to mind and its helping remind me that part of why im writing all this shit out is for exactly that kind of creative generation that comes if you just push yourself a little even when (especially when) it's not forthcoming. im proud of myself because im usually the kind of person who waits for "inspiration" to hit before i do anything, especially something like writing. and that's cool and all when it hits, but also because of my over-reliance on "feeling like it" im also the kind of person who often doesn't get done what id like to get done lol. but in the name of balancing how i normally work with how i would like to work, i actually made a conscious effort to sit down and finish this despite not feeling particularly called to it at the moment. so while this may not be my most inspired writing ever i can say that it's still worth it because of the thinking it's now inspired. ill take it. my little personal act of balance paid off.
balvida <3
appreciating the balance of the land & sky, day & night, light & dark during my fav time of day on the pacific coast of costa rica